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Showing posts from 2019

T'was the Night Before Kindergarten...

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T'was the night before Kindergarten...Okay, I totally ripped that title off from a book by a similar name, which we read before bed tonight (Natasha Wing's The Night Before Kindergarten).  The backpacks are hung on their hooks by the door, the shoes are in place and the clothes neatly hung. I've scrubbed behind eight ears, trimmed 80 nails, and cut four heads of hair. We've been planning for this day for a really long time. 



As I tucked four little bodies in and kissed four little faces during my nightly rounds as I've done every single night since they were born, it hit me hard that even though the days are so long, the years are flying by. What a ride this has been. I still have mornings where I wake up and wonder whether it was a dream that I have quadruplets and we've been through all we have but it's starting to sink in that this is reality. My babies aren't babies anymore. I wonder how much longer they'll let me tuck them in. How much longer th…

As You Prepare for Kindergarten (An Open Letter to My Children)

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My Sweet Babies,

I can't believe it's really happening. In just less than one week, I'll walk you through the doors of your school, kiss you goodbye, and you'll begin your academic journey. I have so many emotions surrounding this time that it's hard to begin to explain. 

From the moment I heard each of your tiny little heartbeats, I knew this day was coming. Getting to this point has been an adventure of its own. We've overcome so much. I ate so many eggs and drank so many protein smoothies trying to put pounds on you and grow your little brains so you'd be ready for this! From the days I spent alone in a hospital room trying to grow you as much as I could, to the 52 days we spent in the hospital trying to get each of you well enough to come home, to the whirlwind of all we've been through the last five years, several moves, fighting for affordable childcare so I could support you, and so so much more, it's all come down to this moment. 

I can't h…

Saving Time & Money = More Time for Being Mom

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As a single mama to quadruplets, you can imagine that every penny counts. This summer has served as a huge reminder of what that grocery bill is going to look at when they're teenagers. Every single time I turn around, someone is in the fridge or the pantry. Keeping these kids fed, has been a tall task. Not only is keeping them fed an ongoing task, so is the grocery shopping to keep them fed. But taking four small kids out in the grocery store is an undertaking that usually requires medication on my part. (Remind me to tell you about the day I lost it and threw my pen in the grocery store). 

Now, I won't lie, a lot of people told me that I should use H-E-B's curbside service and yes, a time or two, in desperate situations, I've used it. But if I'm honest, that $5 fee and the markup on their groceries is a tough pill to swallow when I'm trying to make every single penny last to feed these kids. I realize that sanity has a price but I'm a penny pinching mama h…

Becoming Minimalist - A Work in Progress

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It is said that we pay for stuff twice: once with our money when we buy it and once with our time. Upon learning that I had four nebulizers, a friend recently asked me how I had room for all this stuff. The honest answer was, I don't! My life has turned into one huge, disorganized mess and I am drowning in stuff.  I have stuff strewn in every corner of this house, in storage at my Dad's garage and I can think of at least two other places where I have stuff stashed. Stuff has taken over my life. I spend more time managing my stuff, trying to find homes for it, holding on to it for a multitude of reasons. Important reasons like "it's sentimental" or "what if I need it one day".  

I won't lie, I've seen Marie Kondo's book and what it's done for some of my friends. I even watched a few episodes of her show on Netflix. I went as far as trying to organize our dressers with her method and well...it didn't work. I spent hours precisely foldin…

Stop Staring, Start Doing - A Guide for Encountering Multiples in Public

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It's a Sunday around 12:30 in the afternoon on a hot, Texas summer day. We've just gotten out of church and the kids chose Subway for lunch. We stand in line and a pair of city police officers come in behind us. They kindly engage the kids, give them stickers and listen to whatever silliness the kids tell them. I'm waiting for the question and am surprised when it never comes.  As we make our way through the line, I feel the stares on us. Whatever, I know we're a sight to see. I work my way through the line trying to help four kids order their meals. Food in hand, I usher everyone to a table and start unwrapping sandwiches and filling water cups trying to keep up with the needs of four five-year-olds without a catastrophe occurring, when it happens. The first woman comes right up to our table and says "are they all yours"? "Yes, ma'am, all mine", I respond without looking up from the sandwich I'm unwrapping. "How do you do it"? By …

My Son Dreams of Being a Garbage Man - and That's Perfectly Okay.

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Confession: I recently did a photo shoot of my son in front of a dumpster.  Since he was three, my child has been obsessed with garbage trucks. He knows more about garbage trucks than I ever imagined possible. For his fifth birthday, he requested a chocolate garbage truck cake.  His favorite toy is, you guessed it, garbage trucks. Favorite thing to watch on TV, yup, YouTube videos of garbage trucks picking up trash (who knew this existed). When we visit any type of business, we always have to take a moment to check out their dumpster. When we pass a garbage truck, we always stop and watch. We regularly take gifts to our garbage man like water and candy. And potentially my favorite part of this obsession, my kid likes to take out the trash. 



Personally, I've never once questioned my child's passion. If he loves it, I love it. Unfortunately, when others find out about his love for all things garbage, without thinking or hesitation, they're vocal about their thoughts that &quo…

I Don't Know How You Do It

A lady passed me in the supermarket last week.  I had a cart full of groceries, a couple kids hanging off the sides of it, one pulling on my shirt begging for something that had been placed at eye level, and another one trying to open the doors to the refrigerated food section. At this point in life, I know better than to make eye contact with strangers in public. Unfortunately, her eyes just happened to be in the exact direction of the milk case I needed to push my motley crew towards and as I plotted the path of least resistance, before I knew it, we'd locked eyes. "Excuse me", she said, "are they two sets of twins"?  By now I'm used to the statement and even though it makes absolutely no sense, I gave my half-hearted smile and gave my standard reply of "No ma'am. They're one set of quadruplets".  At this point, she launched into the typical response: mouth opens wide, confirms that I'm telling the truth, "I've never seen qu…

Mother's Day - A Post for the Brokenhearted

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What I'm about to say may come as a shock to many of you. I hate Mother's Day. In fact, for many years, I've hated Mother's Day. I know. It's hard to fathom. How can someone who loves motherhood and her children so much not appreciate a day where we recognize mothers? Well, it's easy. Throughout my life, Mother's Day has served a painful reminder of what isn't. 



It may come as a surprise to many, but there are many who are brokenhearted on Mother's Day: the mothers who are grieving, be it the loss of a child or the loss of their own mother, the mothers who long to be mothers but the reality seems impossible in this moment, and yes, the single mothers no matter how she became a single mother. 

Many women grieve on Mother's Day. For someone who has suffered the loss of their own mother or the loss of a child, Mother's Day can serve as a painful reminder of their heartache. The first Mother's Day after a loss can be hard, but as I am learning…

It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Way

It wasn't supposed to be this way. I never dreamt when I said "I do" that this would be the life I'd live.  He knew all the right words. He was able to get me to share my deepest desires, fears and hopes and dreams. And then he used that information and manipulated me like a little puppet to do whatever he wanted. Now here I am: alone, broke, scared, stressed and trying my best to grow four little people into productive, good people in the meantime.

As I prepare to wish my four little people a very happy fifth birthday, my heart is bursting with emotions. I am so proud to say that we've made it this far. I'm proud of who they're becoming and how smart they are. But mostly, I'm proud that they are kind people and they care about others. Still, there's a part of me that grieves the life that I had planned and hoped for for both them and me.

Shortly into my quadruplet pregnancy, my husband and their father started disappearing. When I say disappearin…

2019

The New Year is always full of excitement, potential and big dreams.  We often feel pressured to write down resolutions on the New Year. I can't remember the last time I made resolutions for the New Year.

2018 came and went, just like the four years before it. As I reflected on 2018, it occurred to me that most of the past few years are just a blur. Each and every day is over before I'm ready to be done. There's never enough time in any day. Everyone tells me not to blink because if I do, my four little angels will be grown.  The moments seem so long, but the years go by so fast.

As we embark on another short chapter of life called 2019, this year, I do have goals lined up. I am at a place in my life I'd like to view as rebuilding. Late in 2018, I began a process of starting over.  I was forced to make a tough decision to leave behind a life I was living alone with the kids and move home to where I grew up. With that move, I left a lot of physical and emotional baggage…