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Showing posts from November, 2017

Why Didn't I just leave?

"Why didn't you just leave"? 

It's a question I've been asked at least 1,000 times and asked myself even more often. Several weeks ago, I shared my story of the crisis that has been my life. Still, over and over, I've been asked by family, friends, and even police officers "why don't you just leave". "There's so many resources out there to help" is usually the line that follows this incredulous question. As if leaving has never crossed your mind.

My answer: "It's not that simple". 

Did you know that it takes the average woman seven attempts before she leaves a violent relationship for good? 

Four times I have tried to leave. Four times I packed up myself and the kids and tried to leave. Much to my family and friends dismay, I always went back. Why? For a lot of reasons. I could spend hours telling you all of the reasons I've stayed; the dangers that come with leaving; the lack of resources that are really there for wo…

My Life In Crisis

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Infertility. High-risk pregnancy. Lengthy NICU stays times four.  Your Mother's cancer diagnosis. Multiple moves looking for a support system. Leaving a career you loved. A spouse's struggle with drug and alcohol addiction. Your spouse's job loss.  Your Mother's cancer remission. Emotional, physical, and financial abuse.  The return of cancer. Your Mother's death. Your spouse's addiction issues spiraling out of control. You spouse attempts suicide multiple times. Your spouse facing criminal charges. Inability to obtain affordable childcare so that you can work. Adultery. These are just some of the many events crammed into the past four years of my life.

A crisis is defined as a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger. A crisis of life is a highly volatile or dangerous situation/emergency requiring immediate remedial action. A crisis occurs when a stressful life event overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope effectively in the face of a perceived challe…